


Snow May Fall but Warmth May Grow

by LigeiaMaloy



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Comfort, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Horses, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Canon, Sadness, Snow, Winter, hoooorse, sorry no cyborg, very light, well one horse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:39:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9068056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LigeiaMaloy/pseuds/LigeiaMaloy
Summary: In a universe where the Shimadas decide against killing Genji, he still ends up with Blackwatch, as a human instead of a cyborg. There are other ways to get rid of a family member. When Genji understands this, he is lucky to have a good friend in Jesse who wishes for nothing more than seeing Genji smile again on this Christmas Eve. Step one: Convincing Genji to come with him to join the rest of Blackwatch and Overwatch on their Christmas party.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My [McGenji Secret Santa gift](http://mcgenjisecretsanta.tumblr.com/post/153521138978/welcome-to-the-mcgenji-secret-santa-event) for [Akkame-Chan on tumblr!](akkame-chan.tumblr.com)
> 
> I'm sorry I'm a day too late and really hope you like how I grabbed your prompts and ran with them (important: Never tell me to do whatever I have in mind when I ask for boundaries ;) )

Snow was gently falling in a steady dance in a steady, light breeze and came to a rest on a ground that colored the fragile crystals red. Jesse McCree looked down at the poor fool and put his gun - smoke still spiraling from the barrel - back into its holster. It was a beautiful day, this Christmas Eve, with a few hours under a bright blue sky until thick clouds heavy with snow returned from their rest.

He took pity with the beauty of the forest that wasn’t much more than a few acres of trees behind a rural village still maintaining many of the old ways where technical progress wasn’t needed.

“Talons seek out the quiet, now he also got rest.” He kicked some of the snow over the spilled blood and the head of the dead agent, tipped his hat at the trees as though he was greeting a lady, and returned to his partner.

“So you are done without digging him a grave.” Genji rolled his eyes, rubbing his arms. For him, the thick jackets Blackwatch provided weren’t enough to keep the cold away from his bones.

“Was that some kind of ritual or were you wasting time?” he muttered when Jesse walked past him with a grin.

“It’s never a waste of time to appreciate the beauty of nature.” He chuckled when Genji sneered behind him. They had been teamed up before and completed their missions with success in a short time. Within the few weeks, Genji had been a new recruit, he had quickly earned the reputation as an agile fighter who excels at stealth and fast face-to-face confrontations. With twenty years, he and Jesse were two of the youngest Blackwatch members and yet regularly praised for their efficiency. They worked well together indeed, complementing each other in their skills and both with a similar sense of humor.

Today’s mission went quick and easy and was over before Genji had a chance to draw his sword. That alone wasn’t the reason for his bad mood. Whatever it was, it had happened shortly after breakfast. Since they met for their departure, Genji’s gray eyes had almost been hidden beneath his frown and his lips had been pressed together to a hard, thin line. He had dodged Jesse’s attempts to talk as if they had been lousily thrown punches.

Jesse had shrugged it off after a while. Maybe Genji was just cold. The winter in this area was harsh and always came with an undying wind to turn poetic into cruelty for those outside longer than an hour or two.

“I can give you my jacket. I’m used to the cold.” Jesse had grown up at the warmer end of Route66 but over the last decade, he had traveled it up and down and spent two or three winters in the north. He wasn’t immune to feeling cold and he preferred a cozy, warm spot like every other average Joe so his offer was still a generous sacrifice, but at least he wouldn’t end up with a cold.

“Keep it. You are not my mother.” That came with unexpected sharpness.

“And aren’t we all grateful for that.” Jesse watched the silent face from the side, unbothered and without the fear of being caught staring. Genji was staring at the path ahead, just aware enough of the world around him to not run into a tree or stumble over a snow-covered stone. The cold had painted his cheeks crimson. His jaws were pressed together, framing his colorless lips with bitter lines that didn’t belong to his youthful, finely crafted face. The eyes, shining like polished steel when he laughed, had become hard and dull like stone.

Genji hadn’t been with Blackwatch long enough for Jesse to know how to handle him in this mood, in fact, this was the first time Genji wasn’t his cheerful, mischievous self. For now, he withstood the temptation to put his arm around Genji’s shoulders. His instincts warned him that although he might not end up chopped and sliced into pieces, a few of Genji’s rapid movements would send him to the ground with enough force for his face to hit the ground under the snow. It was too bad, Genji looked like somebody who needed a good hug. Jesse was only too willing to provide but he wasn’t so stupid to risk stomping on the friendship that had begun to grow between them.

“Might be none of my business. But if someone’s an asshole you can tell me. I’ll deal with it. Discreetly.” With a punch to the face, if he had to. Blackwatch’s commander had kicked one of the other junior agents out for bullying the new kid for his heavy foreign accent and different mannerism. Jesse then decided if something like that happened again, he would hunt the asshole through hell and back before dragging him to Commander Reyes. This wasn’t exactly a discreet approach but those were more Genji’s forte anyway.

“It isn’t your business, McCree.”

“Okay.” He inhaled sharply. The last and only time Genji had called him McCree was when they first met and were introduced to each other.

“It’s also not your fault.” Genji’s voice softened but was still carrying bitterness and sadness. “It’s nobody’s fault. This, it is something I have to deal with on my own.”

“You make it sound like someone died, Genji.” He half spoke in jest, to keep the conversation going, to change the mood, just a little. Jesse wanted to cheer him but something in Genji’s voice warned him that he had to.

Genji stopped in his track, a jolt shooting through his body that straightened his back and pulled back his shoulders. He turned his head towards Jesse, looking up at him, his mouth twitching into a mockery of a smile.

“That’s what happened. Yes. You could say that’s what happened.”

For a moment, they stared at each other, grief meeting worry, and the fear that his help wasn’t welcome.

What was that supposed to mean? Jesse wanted to ask but didn’t. He had tried to talk and Genji’s mood only worsened. As long as Jesse was left in the dark about what had happened, he couldn’t say the right thing, but how was he supposed to know when asking already was the wrong thing?

“I can’t tell. Accept my apologies. Jesse,” Genji said as if he read Jesse’s mind, or maybe Jesse’s peril was too clearly written across his face.

“You don’t have to. Let’s go back and get you out of this cold, okay?”

Genji nodded. His gaze returned to the white ground, lying untouched as it was ahead of him, crunching under his feet as he walked on.

Their checkpoint was outside the village, opposite to the place where they had found the talon agent’s hideout. Few villagers were outside and those who hadn't had an eye for the strangers hurrying through their streets. A group of children crossed their path, entangled in their own winter wonderland and determined that as long as they didn’t acknowledge the presence of adults, adults wouldn’t notice them and call them inside. First street lamps flickered, their cold lights painting snow-covered roofs and roads in a blueish hue.

Neither of the two men was aware of the cold, beautiful world around them, both caught in minds of sadness and worry. There wasn’t tension between them, only a sense of loss opening a gap between them. As much as Jesse wished otherwise, he didn’t have any idea which path to take to cross the rift and drag Genji back to the side with grins, jokes, and friendship.

They hadn’t spoken a word when they reached the meeting point. Once inside the truck that would bring them back to their base, Jesse realized how could he was. He pulled off his gloves, rubbed his hands, blew warm breath into them. He gave a quick account of the mission and their success when the driver asked and did his best to answer the following chatter. Genji remained silent. He didn’t move or flinch and when they were back at the base that was now their home, he rushed to his quarter without a goodbye.

*

“Genji? Cover up, I’m coming inside!” Jesse knocked two more times before he pushed the door open. Genji froze in the middle of the room, his face pale and eyes wide and fearful. Jesse had made the right decision, if he had waited for Genji to answer, he would have given him enough time to lock the door.

“Why don’t you come inside and make yourself comfortable.”

“Ouch, my lord, your snark can hurt a sensitive soul.”

“Sensitive souls don’t barge into rooms without invitation. What’s this?” Genji pointed at the bag in Jesse’s hand.

“Meds. With warm regards from Santa Reyes.” He tossed the bag at Genji who caught it with ease. “Doubt you need them. You’re not looking that sick.” Jesse closed the door behind him and leaned against it, his arms crossed.

“It comes and goes. Thank you for the delivery. Please give Commander Reyes my thanks when you see him.”

“Comes and goes, eh?” He pushed his hat up, squinting at Genji. “But the red eyes stay, yes? Don’t tell me you’re allergic to holiday cheer and merrymaking. Ain’t buying it.”

“And why are you here? I thought everyone left for the party.”

“Reyes had some stuff for me to do and I wasn’t done in time. Gonna join them later. And you should, too.” Jesse hadn’t been too excited when Reyes approached him with two more tasks, one of them taking a bag with medication to Genji. Reyes had assured him if he hurried, he should be done in time to leave with everyone else, if he was too late, it was, of course, his own fault. Maybe it was for the better he couldn’t join the others.

“Thank you, but no. I kindly ask you to leave, I want to be alone.”

“Yeah, I got that much and wouldn’t mind, but I kinda got a feeling you need some company.” That put it mildly. Jesse valued solitude and was the last guy to push himself onto others when they wanted to be alone. Yet, Genji’s behavior was unsettling and Jesse’s gut told him leaving Genji alone was a mistake. He wished whatever happened had chosen another day. They were alone in the base, everyone had gone to the yearly Christmas party in the nearest town and even though Jesse feared the situation was too big for him, there was nobody outside this room he could call for help.

“You won’t move, will you? No matter what I say, and if I kicked you out, you would fight?” Genji was taking slow steps towards him, his bare feet tapping on the wooden floor. He held his head high, his chin pushed forwards in determination and when he was only inches from Jesse away, Jesse had no doubts anymore. Genji had cried.

“Yes. I would fight. I’m not leaving you alone.” He wasn’t afraid of him. Genji might have been athletic and nimble, but Jesse was a good fighter himself and had the advantage of height and weight. If a fight was necessary to pull Genji out of this withdrawn state of gloom, he’d challenge both Blackwatch and Overwatch to a brawl.

Genji glared at him, then he snorted, a stubborn smirk appearing on his face.

“Stay, then. I don’t want to fight with you.” Genji turned around on his heel.

“And here I was already looking forward to wrestling the world’s shortest Ninja.” He laughed, following Genji across the room back to the desk. He stood behind him when Genji sat down. He was allowed to stay, that doesn’t mean he was allowed to put his hands on the dropped shoulders, or to run his fingers through the short, black hair, to see if it was as soft as it looked. Jesse sighed. This wasn’t a good moment to think of Genji _that_ way. Not when he needed a friend and when this friend was already at a loss what to do or say to cheer him up.

“I know you, Jesse. You never give up. I admire that.”

Toneless as they were, the words caught Jesse by surprise.

“Well, I guess. You don’t strike me as one to give up easily either.” Smooth. If smooth was a new expression for pathetic. He blushed under the shade of his hat, comforting himself with the thought that even if he had tried, he wouldn’t have come up with a better reply.

“The time has come for me to give up. Here.” Genji picked a bundle of letters from the desk and held them up without turning his head. “You’d find out the truth sooner or later. I rather tell you before the gossip reaches you.”

“Yeah…” He took the letters, no clue what to expect from them. But they were the key to Genji’s sadness and that Genji was giving it to him he considered a good sign. He flipped through the letters, about six, all unopened. He scanned the handwriting on the envelope, catching “Shimada” on every single one of them. His confusion was growing, what could closed letters do to a bubbly spirit like Genji’s. Until he noticed the stamps. They were covered in stamps and finally, he took a closer look.

They were addressed at Shimada, but not at Genji. Genji Shimada was the sender.

“I can’t read the stamps… they’re Japanese…” He didn’t need to read them. He was putting the painful answer together and already anger was rising in him.

“Return to sender. Delivery refused by the addressee.” The pretended indifference failed to disguise the hurt and desperation. “It’s a family tradition. Writing letters by hands around the holidays. They… didn’t want mine. I’m disowned. You can go anytime, Jesse. I don’t hold it against you.”

“Don’t say that!” He tossed the letters away, scattering them over the floor and bed. His hands grabbed Genji’s shoulders, he had to restrain himself from clawing his fingers into them. “Why would they disown you? Call, write an email! Maybe it’s all just a misunderstanding!”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew.” Genji chuckled, putting his hands on Jesse’s. “You have never asked why I joined Blackwatch.”

“Well, it’s not the thing you ask here. People tell you if they want to.”

“And not everyone is an open book like you. I tell you. To keep it short,” he began to explain, “I’m not considered a worthy bearer of the family name. Father said I’ll only learn discipline without bringing more shame to the clan when I’m far away. He pulled some strings and I ended up here. I should have known this was a way to remove me from the family forever, that I can go home after a few weeks or months. But my hope died. As did I, for my family. You have been right, Jesse.” He leaned back his head, looking up at Jesse with a sad smile. “Somebody died and it was me.”

“I… I wish I could say I don’t believe this.”

“But you can. I’m sure, living with that Deadlock Gang, you have seen worse tragedies. After all, I wasn't really killed. I’m alive, I’m well, I live under a roof. I have a friend.” For a second, the smile lost some of its sadness and a friendly shine returned to his eyes. Then he took a deep breath, leaning his head against Jesse’s stomach. “But it hurts. More than I had thought. Even my grandmother… and my brother… I’m the one who died and yet it is me who mourns them all.”

“Yeah…” There wasn’t more to say as nothing he could say would change anything. Losing a family wasn’t always a tragedy, he would know, but when there was still hope for a happy end, yes, that had to hurt. He waited for Genji to cry, ready to comfort him as much as he could but instead, they were both silent. That had to do. That, and his hands wrapping around Genji’s, holding them and squeezing them gently, a reminder that he wasn’t alone.

“Genji. We should go to the party. Come with me.” Pushing all worries and what-ifs aside, Jesse let go of Genji’s hands, bent over and wrapped his arms around him. “Please.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the second and final part of the Secret Santa gift. I hope it could entertain a little and thank you for reading!

“ _Come with me, please,”_ he had said. _“Meet me at the front entrance in ten minutes!”_ He had said and rushed out of the room when Genji had nodded.

Fifteen minutes had passed and Jesse wasn’t there. Genji rubbed his hands against each other, the faint warmth quickly dying in the wind. Ten minutes had been enough for him to shower, jump into his clothes and hasten outside. Ten minutes hadn’t been enough to dry his hair and the cold was cutting his skin like shards of glass. If he had known Jesse would be late he’d even have had the time to grab a pair of gloves.

Jesse wouldn’t forget him, would he? Not after the last half of an hour, after he had told him about his family, after it was Jesse who tried to comfort him and insisted on meeting here. Genji wasn’t in the mood for a cheerful Christmas party with people he hardly knew. He got along fine enough with most of the Blackwatch agents, he trusted Reyes as a Commander who could be loud but had everybody’s well-being in mind. He had heard names and stories of some of the Overwatch agents who would join the festivities tonight but hadn’t met any of them. Jesse was the only one he considered a friend.

Genji smiled, his face hurting from the freezing temperatures and the earlier crying. Jesse cared and Jesse never gave up. It was pointless to argue against that stubborn mule once he set his mind on something and usually, arguing was exactly was Genji would do. It was fun to listen to Jesse’s calm, teasing voice growing passionate, seeing his dark brown eyes full of life and willpower. This time, arguing would have made everything worse and Genji wouldn’t have been surprised if Jesse had thrown him over his shoulder and carried him to the party. Somewhere deep inside, Genji was aware he had to distract himself. He wasn’t sure if he had been able to handle being left all alone in his room, so far away from a home that wasn’t his home anymore. It was just easier to get up and step outside with somebody like Jesse McCree giving him the necessary push.

“Sorry for letting you wait!”

Finally! Genji hadn’t really believed Jesse would have abandoned him… but he hadn’t believed that from others, too.

“About time. I almost thought you… Oh. I haven’t seen this on you. You look good.” Genji blushed, his cheeks hot against the cold. When not in uniform, Jesse rarely wore anything else but a shirt and a bandana around his throat. Of course, there was always this cowboy hat on his head. Tonight, he was wearing a long, brown leather coat, cut like a duster, with a white fur collar. Black gloves warmed his hands, reminding Genji painfully of his own, stiff fingers. As always, Jesse’s hat tamed his shaggy, thick hair and instead of the sneakers he was usually wearing inside, he had put on sturdy, slim leather boots.

“You’re right about that. Now, come!” Laughing with satisfaction, Jesse gestured Genji to follow him. Instead of walking down the path to the parking lot, Jesse guided him around the opposite corner. Genji came to a halt, staring ahead in disbelief.

“May I introduce you? Kassiopeia, this is Genji, my favorite pocket-sized ninja. Genji, meet Kassiopeia.” Jesse stood next to a horse, a tall, beautiful chestnut mare with gentle black eyes. She whinnied when Jesse patted her throat and nudged him with her soft nose, demanding treats.

“Jesse! That’s a horse! You are a horse thief!” The sight of a horse was too out of the ordinary for him to scowl at Jesse for the remark about his size.

“Horse thief? Nah, that’s a harsh word! I’m a horse borrower! Don’t look at me like that. She’s from the stables down the road and the owner allowed me to ride their beauties sometimes. I was there before I came to your room and Kassie-darling was bored, weren’t you, my girl?”

“Does sometimes mean to take a horse away in the middle of the night?”

“Semantics. Do you need help to get into the saddle?”

“I should think not!” As a fact of the matter, Genji wasn’t so sure. He took a step closer to the animal, suddenly finding it ridiculously tall. He searched his memory for pictures of horsemen in movies, hoping to find an image showing how to get up there. He reached up to grab the saddle and put one foot in the stirrup.

“What’s so funny, Jesse?” His voice growled in the back of his throat when Jesse chuckled.

“Wrong foot, Genji, unless you want to sit backward on her.”

“Maybe I want to.” His cheeks deep red he took his foot down but before he could correct his mistake, Jesse moved next to him.

“You grab the saddle here. Wait a sec!” Jesse took Genji’s hand and was about to adjust its position when his gloved fingers closed around Genji’s. “Where are your gloves? And is _this_ the warmest jacket you have?!”

“It’s what you wear to look smart in winter!” Genji looked down himself. He was well-dressed and the white jacket flattered his athletic shape but it was too thin to stop the wind from giving him chills. “Winter in Hanamura is mild. There, it would be enough. The uniform is warmer but I decided a casual attire is more appreciated.”

“Damn right. Gonna be right back. You and Kassie use the time to get to know each other better!” Jesse hurried back to the entrance before Genji could protest. He would be fine in his clothes, the cold was uncomfortable but hadn’t the power to kill him. Still, his hand felt colder than before after Jesse had let go. Genji stared after him, where Jesse had disappeared behind the corner, hoping he would soon return. A nudge against his back made him topple forward.

Genji turned around. There was the horse, taking Jesse’s suggestion more seriously than Genji. She made a soft, gentle sound, shook her head and gave Genji’s shoulder another nudge.

“I’m sorry. I don’t have treats for you.” How strange horses were. With their long heads and big eyes and the large teeth that curiously nibbled on his jacket without leaving a tear. “Don’t think I’m afraid of you!” Well, maybe just a little, but this beast didn’t need to know that. He had seen horses in movies and from afar, in parades, but he had never been so close to one. Genji hated being teased about his height but standing so close to this tall animal he found it difficult to act a head taller than he was. Again, the horse shook his head, tearing it up high, giving a shrill sound.

“Oh, now you’re laughing at me? I’m not a joke, you know!” He frowned, yet he smiled a little and the beast lowered its head again, watching him with calm eyes. “You see, Jesse wants us to get along and unless a miracle happens, you have to carry me. Let us forge a truce.” Genji talked against his own nervousness, the horse was calm and not in need of soothing and comfort. She stood when Genji raised a hand and placed it on her nose.

Her fur was soft and warm, a patch of life in this cold night. Genji couldn’t stay afraid when this massive animal that could so easily trample him down was so kind and patient. Her nostrils widened, warm breath brushed over his hand and wrist and slowly, he began to pet her, his other hand patting the throat as he had seen Jesse do it moments ago. She shoved her head past his hand, again aiming for his jacket and tugging at one of the pockets.

“I’m sorry, I really don’t have anything for you,” he chuckled, scratching her behind the ears.

“Looks like you’ve made a new friend.” The familiar voice came from behind and Jesse stepped closer. “I’m almost getting jealous.”

“Of whom?” Genji turned around with a wide grin on his face, quickly resuming scratching the mare when she gave him a disapproving nudge.

“Both. But at least you’re smiling so I’ll endure it bravely. Here!” Jesse handed him a pair of gloves, not much unlike those he was wearing, only of a darker leather and with a fur trim.

“Thank you! Sorry, I think I really have to stop now.” He gave the horse a last friendly slap and moved a step aside to avoid being shoved into the snow by another push of protest. He put on the gloves. They were too big and threatened to just fall off, he had to be careful not to lose them. But, oh! Weren’t they soft and warm! Almost like the horse’s nose.

“And here. Hope this will do.” Jesse pulled a long, red piece of fabric from his shoulder that Genji mistook for a gigantic scarf at first. He pushed it over Genji’s head and tugged it over his shoulders. Cut for a taller man, it covered Genji’s back and most of his chest and he felt a little lost wearing it. But the wool was thick and warmed him the second it fell over his body.

“Not quite your style, but you look kinda cute in it.”

“I always look cute. It’s wonderful, thank you. Is it yours? I’ve never seen you wearing it.” He pulled it further over his chest and hid his arms under it. It was wonderful but despite the strong color, it didn’t seem new. It didn’t smell dirty but as though it had been hidden away in a dark corner for a long time until the last faint hint of detergent had faded.

“Was a gift from my grandmother. She made one for all of us when we were born. Used it more before I joined this country club here. Now it’s mostly a memory of other days.” A wistful tinge sneaked into Jesse’s voice and he chased it away with a boisterous laugh as he slapped the mare’s throat. “Glad to see you two becoming friends. Now let's get on our way before you freeze to the spot, right, Kassie?”

Genji swore the horse nodded and made a sound coming close to an impatient ‘Yes!’ but he wasn’t given the chance to joke about it. Two strong hands took hold of his waist and lifted him up.

“Jesse! Stop!”

“Swing your left leg over her back and I let go!” Jesse laughed as Genji was clinging to the saddle as if it was his dear life. But he did as he was told and suddenly, he was on horseback.

“She’s moving!” He didn’t let go of the saddle, fearing his grip would slip any moment with these large gloves and he was beginning to feel a little seasick.

“She’s standing perfectly still. It’s you, you’re squirming, Mr. Ninja.” With a swift movement that added teasing to mockery, Jesse swung himself up and sat behind Genji. Reaching around him, he took hold of the reins.

“You better sit up and relax a little unless you want to end up with a pain in your back tomorrow. Don’t worry, you won’t fall.” Jesse’s laughing became a little softer. Slowly, Genji dared to straighten his back and his dignity. Either the horse was shaking or he was - or maybe the whole world. But Jesse’s arms were around him and still were when he made a soft, clicking sound. The horse began to move without haste. Jesse steered her around and within minutes, she fell into a comfortable trot as they took the path through the woods.

“Try to find her rhythm, that’s better for her and your back. Once you’re used to it, we gonna speed up. We should arrive in maybe forty minutes.”

Genji tried to follow the instructions and soon found the steps taken by the horse less painful. A few minutes into the forest, and he began to relax. His hands were still holding onto the saddle, the wide serape falling over them. After a while, his back was leaning against Jesse’s chest. They were silent like the world around them but between Jesse’s arms and snuggled into the warmth of the serape and Jesse’s body, the cold refused to return.

Genji’s breath formed small clouds that faded into the darkness. Snow crunched under the horse’s hooves and her huffs and gentle neighs defied the deadliness of the cold. Genji forgot about falling. He trusted the animal and Jesse’s guidance of the reins and so he huddled closer. The smell of trees covered in snow and ice never went away but there was also Jesse, the scent of leather, wool and aftershave that seemed a little too old and worn for how young he was. Yet, it promised comfort. That was the strange thing about Jesse and when he was around him. Genji should feel lonely, in the middle of nowhere in a country unknown to him, far away from home and the life he was used to, yet he wasn’t lonely.

“Jesse?” All the comfort, the sudden sense of happiness, it was becoming too overwhelming to bear.

“Yeah?” Jesse’s lower jaw was pressing against Genji’s head, and he realized Jesse’s chin had been resting in his hair. The curses and benefits of being short but he dismissed any sharp remark.

“What about your family? If I’m allowed to ask. I know about your days in that gang but nothing about the before.”

“There’s not much before. I joined Deadlock when I was seven, as you know. Mom died when I was six, leaving me and my brothers and sisters with the guy she got after my father’s dead. Stepguy got a new lady with kids soon after. Throw in an uncle and aunt I have no clue to whom they belonged, also with kids.” He steered the horse out of the woods and down the country road. The pace slowed down. It was still snowing but the thick flakes melted as soon as they landed on the horse’s fur. “Long story short, the house was too small for more than a dozen brats, their adults and a litter of puppies every other month.”

“You ran away? Impressive, for a child so young, to not be found.” He remembered how difficult it was to sneak away from the protective eye of his family, if only for a few hours. If he had run away they’d have brought him back before a day was over. Well, those days were gone. He was thrown out of his cage and the door had closed forever, leaving him with more freedom than he could handle.

“Not that impressive when nobody searched.”

“Oh.” So that’s why. Earlier, when Jesse had said he wished he couldn’t believe Genji’s family had abandoned him, Genji thought it was just a phrase of comfort, politeness that wouldn’t mark him as a liar. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, don’t waste good pity for shitty causes. It’s an old story. The years with Deadlock weren’t easy but better than living _home_. And Blackwatch is alright. Good food, shelter, and you don’t get shot because you did a job better than your boss. Or somebody who thinks they should be a boss.”

“I understand.”

“Yeah.”

Genji didn’t miss the amused sarcasm and to his surprise, it amused him as well instead of making him sad.

“I do understand. You know I come from a wealthy family, but what you don’t know is how the wealth has grown from generations of crime. My ancestors and elders might wear ties and hold positions in the government and law but what you said is not unfamiliar to me. I refused to follow the path of the clan and the path I followed instead lead me here. On the back of a horse.” And in the arms of a friend, an embrace he stole from him when Jesse wasn’t given a choice if he wanted to keep control over the animal.

“Fuck.” Jesse whistled through his teeth and the horse’s ears perked up. As there came no other instruction, the mare trotted on. “Good for me you’re on your own now. Wouldn’t want the Yakuza after me for kidnapping their kid and dragging it to a Christmas party.”

“That’s… one way to see it.” In spite of everything and all the emptiness that had hollowed him out before, Genji laughed. “They would see you as another bad choice I made, befriending a commoner! What shame!”

“I’m the best choice,” Jesse said with unyielding confidence. “And there’s the bar. You can go inside, I follow after rubbing Kassie dry.”

*

They walked inside together.

Cheer and laughter engulfed them the moment they opened the door. Music was playing from two different directions, two different songs and the voices singing along making it sound like five. The scent of cinnamon and sugar was lingering in the air heavy as smoke and burning wood added a resinous spice. Genji took a step back, half disappearing behind Jesse. The large room was dim and mostly lighted by candles and the fireplace and he recognized only a few faces. He dreaded to be introduced. Introductions were often followed by questions and individuals of tight-knitted groups usually had a lot of them. The things occupying his mind wouldn’t do well for small-talk.

“There you are. Finally.” Commander Gabriel Reyes emerged from a group of chattering and laughing agents and greeted Genji and Jesse with a quick pat on the shoulder. “I knew I could trust you to get the job done. Are you two smelling like horses?!” His eyebrows raised in his dark face as he skeptically stroke over his beard, already putting the story together. “McCree! What did I tell you about stealing horses?”

“Well, you told me last week to never touch one of the cars again and I read between the lines that you didn’t expect me to walk here.”

“Jesse McCree!”

“What job, Commander?” Genji swallowed hard as he interrupted the show. Delightful as it always was when Jesse and the commander butted heads, something else had caught his attention. And made him think.

“That’s a damn good question, Reyes, and you know it!” Jesse jumped at the opportunity to distract Commander Reyes from the lecture he was about to dish out. Genji suspected Jesse not really knowing what this was about.

“You’re a sharp kid, Shimada. Don’t draw false conclusions, this good-for-nothing didn’t trick you. That was I. And that idiot still doesn’t get it.” Reyes held his head high in triumph, a wide grin destroying the frown. To the amusement of the whole base, a constant battle of wits was going on between the commander and Jesse and Reyes outsmarting him today set the score to a tie.

“Funny. What was the punchline again?”

“Explain it to him, Shimada! And get a drink! You kids look cold!” The rush of good advice was cut short by Jack Morrison, the commander of Overwatch, who grabbed Reyes by the shoulder and dragged him back to a laughing circle of other senior agents.

“Whatever you brought me, it wasn’t from the doctor. Reyes used you to convince me to come here. I’m at loss, Jesse. Am I supposed to laugh or cry?” This was funny, this was horrible. How much of this was a joke and how much of the last hour was real? It was hot in the bar and Genji was still wearing Jesse’s serape but in this moment, the cold was creeping back, reaching out for him.

“You cried enough today.” Jesse didn’t hesitate to answer, not allowing any protest. “What do you want, Genji? Food? A stiff drink? Hey, how about a smoke?”

To Genji’s surprise, Jesse opened the first buttons of his coat and pulled two cigars from one of its inner pockets. “They’re the good stuff that separates the boys from the men. If you asked me, we deserve a good treat.”

“No smoking inside!” Reye’s stretched his neck, his voice thundering across the room. “Go outsi- McCREE! Are those my cigars? AGAIN?!”

“Smoking outside, got it! Come! Before he finds a way out of Morrison’s and Rein’s arms!” Jesse grabbed Genji by the wrist and dragged him with him to the door they had just come through.

“Rein?”

“Reinhard something, that giant. Quick!” They avoided the hot water and were welcomed back by the cold. It was less biting than the beginning of the evening or when the wind blew into Genji’s face while on horseback but he wrapped the serape tighter around him.

“You play like children. You and the commander.”

“He’s the child. Hasn’t he ever heard of sharing?” Jesse muttered with a cigar between his lips. He produced a box of matches from his coat, turned his back to the wind and lightened his smoke. Genji shook his head when he was offered the second one.

“Suit yourself. Let’s walk a bit. My legs are still stiff from riding.”

Snow was already covering the steps of the horse’s hooves as they followed them back. They didn’t aim to go far away or anywhere in particular but as they moved, Genji’s legs were heavy as well and despite getting used to the horse, he already felt his back hurting.

“Are you angry?” Genji looked up at Jesse who was unusually silent.

“Do you believe me that I didn’t plan to trick you or anything? Wouldn’t have done anything different without Reyeshole meddling with us.” Jesse spoke with the restrained anger of a man who didn’t want to say too much and oddly enough, Genji couldn’t help smiling.

“I believe you. I believe it is good the way all played out.” And with nothing holding him back, Genji shoved himself under Jesse’s arm, pulling it around his shoulders while his arm went around Jesse’s waist. Jesse stiffened in his step but his hand closed around Genji’s upper arm as if he feared he’d slip away again any moment. His face darkened by a sudden warm flush, Jesse blew the smoke into the other direction, away from Genji.

“Mebbe you’re right. I- fuck!” The moment was short lived.

Genji fell in a state of fear and shock for a second, when McCree pulled his arm away. But then, he laughed. He laughed hard enough for the tears that had been lurking to run over his face, leaving icy trails. There was nothing sad and the grief from before became unreal.

Just the moment he had gathered the courage to close a last gap between them, Jesse had to slip on a patch of ice, too flustered to maintain his balance.

“When I help you up, will you finally hug me? You wanted to for some time, yes?” Genji stretched his hand out, happy and warm when Jesse, spread out on the ground and the precious cigar lost somewhere in the snow, smiled.

“No deal!”

“What?” Before he could think, Jesse grabbed his hand and pulled him down. Genji’s feet lost their hold and he fell right on top of Jesse, who closed his arms around him.

“Hug first, helping up later. Why did you know what I wanted? And didn’t say anything until now?” Jesse gently stroked through the dark hair, his fingers wandering down to Genji’s neck.

“Because now, I’m not leaving. I’m staying. And I don’t mind anymore.” If he said more, he wouldn’t be able to fight against the lump in his throat. He would explain later, how he had been aware of Jesse’s interest in him and how he felt the same but didn’t act on it because he was sure to be called back to Japan any day.

“I understand.” Jesse took Genji’s face between his hands, Genji lowered his head for the kiss. Jesse’s lips were chapped from the cold, the were warm and tasted like tobacco and they wanted him as much as the fingers caressing his cheeks.

There were worst first kisses than this one, lying in the snow while more was falling from above while a new home was waiting for their return only a few steps away. Where they would find themselves sitting by the fireside, cheering on Overwatch and Blackwatch agents alike who didn’t give up until Commander Reyes joined the senior agents singing another Christmas song. All while Genji snuggled against Jesse, and Jesse’s arm around him.

  



End file.
